Today I heard someone say “ most people with depression have just been coddled their whole life. This struck me in a way that hurt, yet I knew that person most also be hurt inside so I sent healing vibes their way that one day they might open their eyes and see.
Because see I hope they never know the feeling for wishing that when you close your eyes at night you won’t wake up in the morning.
I hope they never know the feeling of losing some of the most important people in their lives because they shut down and was secretly hoping someone would notice their smile was fake.
I hope they never understand the felling of them thinking that their life never matters to anyone and everyone would be better off without you in it and would not care.
I hope that they never sit down and type out letters to the people they think might one day want to read when they are gone because they know they want to end their own life.
Because most people in my life don’t know that three years ago I felt all of those things and I am extremely happy that I never went though with my plans. Because everyone in my life now was meant to be there, I was meant to experience life changing things that I thought was to defeat me but wasn’t it was to only make stronger.
I would miss out on the opportunity to smile at my phone when my now partner text me. I wouldn’t be able to see my friend at 3:00 coffee dates and hung when we are done. I would not be able to text the most important friend in my life all day everyday if I have done what I wanted to do that Wednesday at 4:00pm in June.
I hope you think before you speak, you don’t know the past of anyone sitting around you. You don’t understand what depression does to ones mind and body. Please be a nice human and treat people decent!
Lastly if you are every thinking of harming yourself please call the hotline number (800-273-8255), a friend, old roommate, old high school teacher, coworkers someone that you know will listen! Don’t leave this world because you make it better I promise!
-Michael
The Anxious Gent 