One bad habit I have is putting others before my needs. I have come to find out tho that doing so I have shown them I come second. Tonight while texting a friend I was told well the phone works both ways. This struck me hard because month after month I reach out and I get excuses of why he can’t hang out. Then I sit and I watch snaps and Facebook posts of golfing and parties they attend or having ice cream just down from my house but not asking if I wanted to join.
So more and more I have stopped communication with people. People who don’t take the initiative to call or text me when I went silent for a while I stop trying to make things work. People who I have noticed taking advantage of me again back away and they notice I am not there. I have noticed that when I stopped putting them first I noticed I was putting more effort into something or someone that wasn’t there.
But on the overhand, I found that I became happier. I noticed that I had other people I’m my life I wasn’t giving my attention to that are strong and joyful people to be around. The people I can laugh till I cry with and can watch Harry Potter Movie Marathons with. People who I actually check on me for once to make sure I’m doing okay.
I stopped worrying about if I was good enough, doing enough, what I was doing wrong that no one would tell me. I stopped worrying about why I wasn’t invited to this or that, why I someone didn’t check on me when I checked on them. I started hanging out with people that enjoyed the same things I enjoyed. People who cared about my life and cared that I was happy even tho they also had lives.
Remember to take care of yourself, put your needs first, make sure you are happy. If you are happy then that’s all that matters, screw everyone that wants to rain I your life because things are going right for you. Remember to love the ones that want to be apart of your life and throw everything else in the fuckit bucket and move on.
The Anxious Gent 